Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.
He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"OH NO!" the president exclaims. "That's terrible!"
His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching
as the president sits, head in hands.
Finally, the president looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
Submitted by Jeff H
George W. Bush has a heart attack and dies. Obviously, he goes to Hell, where the Devil is waiting for him.
"I'm not sure what to do," says the Devil. "You're on my list, but I have no room for you. As you definitely have to stay here I'm going to have to let someone else go.”
"I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you'll have to take their place. I'll even let you decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed.
The Devil opened the first room.
In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and climbing out, over and over. Such was his fate in Hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room… In it was Tony Blair with a sledge hammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing the hammer, time after time.
"No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day." commented George.
The Devil opened a third door.
In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in a spread-eagle pose.
Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
The Devil smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go!"
Submitted by Jeff H "Mother Superior"
